Greetings Nyack Earth-tet fans, plus all those who live on or near Long Island:

The two surprise “pop-up” gigs with Taylor were fun, but they would have been more fun if people had attended, or been in the vicinity. Sure, you could argue that the time and place were wrong, but we thought that after the smash success of last Sunday’s brunch gig, the audience would have been waiting in the wings, ready to spring out in thunderous support under any geo-temporal circumstances. Apparently 3am on a Tuesday at the Plateau at Nyack Beach State Park was a little remote and late for even our most die-hard fans. We’ve learned our lesson and will find better fans. Just kidding. We will strive to be more sensitive to your needs. Being a rock star is hard, I’m finding.

So … it’s true, pop-rock legend, Billy Joel, has signed on to a gig with the Earth-tet. It will be on Long Island, soon. Details tba. Crazy, huh?

Let’s review the Earth-tet’s meteoric rise over the last 10 or so days: Ted Nugent, Taylor Swift, and now perhaps Long Island’s biggest rock legend, and the one with the most ex-wives and motorcycles. How did I bag Mr. Joel, you might ask? Not only did I satisfy his itch for association with a jazz master, but I’m a fellow Long Islander, which struck a huge chord with him. From mall shopping back when people didn’t know what malls were, to catching bluefish and cutting one’s feet on mussel shells, ordering ham sandwiches at the deli, gulping down 7-11 Slurpies, listening to Zebra on a Walkman while fantasizing about the Italian girl next door, hittin’ the arcade and then the Coram multiplex before ending up at a Sound-side campfire making out with the girl who was supposedly dating the captain of the lacrosse team, being a Long Guylander provides a bond that doesn’t fade easily. Not nearly as easily as we’d like it to.

Long Island might be our launching pad to Europe, or South America.

Lookout, and thanks for reading.

(Oh, crap, I totally forgot to say where the Long Island gig is. I don’t know yet, but possibly Nassau Coliseum (if that still exists) and possibly Jones Beach. If at Jones Beach, we’ll tell you where on the beach soon. We’re lobbying hard for a spot near where the ice cream truck comes.)